Ohso Romantic
by IceCrome
Summary: Oh Mello. You closet romantic. Crack!Yaoi, but nothing graphic.


_I am a sick, sick little panda._

_Characters © Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata_

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For Matt, today was going _swimmingly._

Just swimmingly!

Nothing weird and/or plot twisting was going to happen to him today! (except for that little girl who had mistaken him for the hamburglar, but he gave her one good Death Stare © Sasuke Uchiha)

As soon as he entered the house, the sounds of _'Singin' doo-wah-diddy-diddy-dum-diddy-dee'_ entered his brain. Obviously, Mello was home or he had accidentally left the radio on. The former was more likely.

"Hey Mello, you home?"

No answer.

"Huh…that's weird." Matt threw his keys on a nearby table, and they slid to a stop near the edge. In a few seconds, his bladder gave him a message that would forever change his life.

(Because the record for 'Tightest Pants in the World' record had yet to be broken by Peter 'Big Peter' Smith. Today, Matt would change that.)

"Hm, gotta pee." And he headed off to their bathroom.

After turning the handle, he son realized that the music was coming from the bathroom.

And inside was Mello. In a tub. Filled with warm chocolate.

"Hey there." Mello winked OOCly at the younger boy.

"…grfaghj." Matt gurgled. It was meant to come out as 'What the fuck' but it came out incoherently instead.

"It's been our…um…crap…how long again? Oh yeah, five year anniversary as...friends with more benefits than one." Mello said, as he was uncomfortable with the words lovers, boyfriends, etc.

"…ackasdhj." Matt incoherently said again, as he was still focused on the fact that _Mello was naked in chocolate in their tub, dammit._

"And I decided that hey, every couple needs to celebrate, ne?"

"Hjarferlad." Matt said once again, ramblingly.

"Would you like some chocolate, Matt?" Mello lifted his leg.

And that's what set Matt off.

His nose was bleeding like _hellfire_. Like emptying a bottle of really, really thin ketchup. Like a timer went off that said _'You are now going to be completley turned on and yet you might die of blood loss. Congratulations!'_

"_Well…" _Matt thought, while clutching his nose like no freakin' tomorrow, _"this day has had its mix of goods and bads."_ Mello blinked, and realized that his (cough) best friend was almost dying of blood loss. And it was technically his fault. Nice.

Grabbing a towel, Mello quickly went over to Matt.

"Holy shit, are you okay?!" Matt blinked at him, and then gave him a look that said 'No, fucktard. I'm really not.'

"I'll call 911; you just…uh…try not to die." Matt nodded, and grabbed about three tons of Kleenex© brand tissue paper.

"Lesse…911…" Mello dialed the number, and the operator was heard.

"_911, what is your emergency?"_

"Uh, yeah, my friend is loosing a lot of blood through his nose. Like, a lot."

"_Was he punched or…did he fall?" _Mello blinked, and blinked again.

"…yeah, let's go with that."

"_So he _did _fall?"_

"Yes. Yes he did." Mello lied through his teeth. The bathroom door was opened, and Matt came out. He was bleeding a helluva lot more than Mello actually thought he would. Granted, he didn't think that he would actually bleed at all. Especially through _his gawdammed nose_.

"_How bad is the bleeding?"_

"Pretty damn bad. Kleenexes are coated in blood. It doesn't show signs of letting up."

"_Alright. We'll send for an ambulance."_

"'Kay." Mello hung up the phone, and turned to Matt, who was still bleeding, albeit not horrendously excessively.

"They're sending for an ambulance. God, I didn't think that I'd actually do that." Matt blinked, and half-shrugged.

"Why is your nose still bleeding anyway? It was like, five minutes ago." Matt sighed, and moved the Kleenex up so he could talk.

"Images don't just go away like that, Mello."

"Grefaj…Well, then, think of something…_un-sexy!_ Like an old lady with really saggy boobs."

"Mello, sewiously. You actually think that I can think of that while the scene keeps playing over and over and over again in my mind? Jethus, you're such a wetard." Mello's eye twitched.

"Well, screw you too you…you…you…_attractive version of Elton John!_" Matt blinked.

"Uh…"

"…Shut up."

----------------------------

"So…Mr.…"

"Smith." Mello answered, and looked over at Matt. "He's my roommate. Matt Gibson." Mello lied about their names. The doctor, who was a mix of Hispanic, Puerto Rican, and Indian, looked at the two questioningly. Matt, the doctor thought, looked like a thinner version of the hamburglar. Mello, he thought, was a girl at _some point in his life_, and then became a transsexual through medical procedure.

He decided not to say that out loud.

"Well Mr. Smith, your roommate here had some blood loss. We had to give him a minor transfusion, but there isn't anything to worry about. My, it just is a wonder. You fell quite hard, didn't you Mr. Gibson?" Matt blinked.

"Yes. Yes I did."

"Well, you should be more careful. I'll bid you two a good day. Stay safe." Mello grabbed his jacket, and waited for Matt.

"Well, that was sure a sticky situation." Matt's right eye twitched.

"...Mello."

"Hm?"

"Is the chocolate still there?" Mello thought for a moment.

"Uh…yeah I think so." Matt smiled.

**PERV MODE ACTIVATED**

"_Good_." Mello's eye twitched.

"...why are you looking at me like that?"

"You'll know soon enough."

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_I love those two so, so much. _

_Well, R&R and such._


End file.
